Life is a funny, fickle thing. In the last 10 years I have lost mnay family members and even a friend. By lost I mean they died, not that I cant find them anymore, although I did think looking down the back of the couch might bring them back, but no...

Needless to say this has caused me a lot of pain and anguish and my art has suffered for it, as has my waistline. I eat when Im depressed. So when my mother died earlier this year I put down my pencils and gave up. I could no longer see a point to doing anything creative when all around me were dropping like flies.

About that time My friend came back from Uni having suffered herself. She is recovering and fighting and has put me to shame. She writes and draws and excercises and still makes time to recover from her problems, although she would disagree with me on all these points...

So here is some motivational crap for you all to consider...

I am losing weight, as I am not happy being as big as I am and want to be, not skinny, dear god no! but thinner, back to the size I was 7 years ago. I liked being that size, I had confidence and enjoyed myself a lot more.

I have started to write a book. It turns out Im quite good at it. I had no idea, so its interesting to find I have another talent. I fully intend for this book to be published when its written, so now I have ambition.

My friends, Rose, Andy and Lauren have joined me in creating a writers group, and we are attempting to create a comic in time for the Bristol Comic Con in may 2010. I think we are calling it Full Frontal Lobe, Ill keep everybody posted about that. Huh, more ambition...

And finally, yesterday, I picked up a pencil and drew for the first time in 4 months. Lets face it, its what I am, what I have always been. OK Im not the best in the world, but thats because I havnt given it the time and devotion needed, but that will change. I have talent, now I need focus.

When your low and feeling depressed the main problem is that you loose sight of your goals. What you need are a few good friends and a little ambition, and although it seems like you dont have anything at all, believe me they are both there waiting for you open your eyes.